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| i apologize in advance but... [message #70352] |
Mon, 17 July 2006 03:52  |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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-A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is
holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts
panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on
the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the
quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
you a doctor?"
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".
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| Re: i apologize in advance but... [message #70364 is a reply to message #70352] |
Mon, 17 July 2006 09:10  |
wmarkwilson
Messages: 114
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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Another good one Rick.
wmw
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:gsqmb2hmqpk2jg1qsrmg6147a76mbjoln2@4ax.com...
>
> -A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is
> holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
> face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts
> panicking, shouting for help.
> A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
> business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
> sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
> puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on
> the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
> across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
> pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
> twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
> After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the
> quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
> Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
> and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
> As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
> father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
> never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
> you a doctor?"
> "No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".
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| Re: i apologize in advance but... [message #70366 is a reply to message #70352] |
Mon, 17 July 2006 10:10 |
Deej [1]
Messages: 2149
Registered: January 2006
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Senior Member |
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Why the shark didn't attack the lawyer????...........professional courtesy.
So you're trapped in a room with a pissed off cobra, a hungry grizzly bear
and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you
do?...............shoot the lawer...............twice.
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:gsqmb2hmqpk2jg1qsrmg6147a76mbjoln2@4ax.com...
>
> -A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is
> holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
> face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts
> panicking, shouting for help.
> A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
> business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
> sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
> puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on
> the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
> across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
> pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
> twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
> After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the
> quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
> Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
> and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
> As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
> father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
> never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
> you a doctor?"
> "No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".
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| Re: i apologize in advance but... [message #70367 is a reply to message #70366] |
Mon, 17 July 2006 10:27 |
DC
Messages: 722
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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What's black and brown and looks terrific on a lawyer?
A DOBERMAN....
"DJ" <animix_spam-this-ahole_@animas.net> wrote:
>Why the shark didn't attack the lawyer????...........professional courtesy.
>
>So you're trapped in a room with a pissed off cobra, a hungry grizzly bear
>and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you
>do?...............shoot the lawer...............twice.
>
>"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:gsqmb2hmqpk2jg1qsrmg6147a76mbjoln2@4ax.com...
>>
>> -A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is
>> holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
>> face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts
>> panicking, shouting for help.
>> A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
>> business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
>> sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
>> puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on
>> the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
>> across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
>> pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
>> twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
>> After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the
>> quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
>> Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
>> and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
>> As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
>> father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
>> never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
>> you a doctor?"
>> "No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".
>
>
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| Re: i apologize in advance but... [message #70410 is a reply to message #70366] |
Tue, 18 July 2006 16:15 |
wmarkwilson
Messages: 114
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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I heard that one before but with different people and scenario. The
musician version goes like this: You're stuck in a darkened cell with
Hitler, Kenny G, Saddam. You've got a gun and two bullets. Who do you
shoot?
Kenny G...
twice...
just to make sure.
W
"DJ" <animix_spam-this-ahole_@animas.net> wrote in message
news:44bbc4e3@linux...
> Why the shark didn't attack the lawyer????...........professional
> courtesy.
>
> So you're trapped in a room with a pissed off cobra, a hungry grizzly bear
> and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you
> do?...............shoot the lawer...............twice.
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:gsqmb2hmqpk2jg1qsrmg6147a76mbjoln2@4ax.com...
>>
>> -A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is
>> holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
>> face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts
>> panicking, shouting for help.
>> A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
>> business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
>> sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
>> puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on
>> the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried,
>> across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
>> pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
>> twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
>> After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the
>> quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
>> Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
>> and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
>> As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
>> father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
>> never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
>> you a doctor?"
>> "No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".
>
>
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