| OT: misconceptions [message #70462] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 01:38  |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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About Food & Diets & Exercise
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
green leafy vegetable. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
....
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| Re: OT: misconceptions [message #70469 is a reply to message #70462] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 08:28  |
excelav
Messages: 2130
Registered: July 2005
Location: Metro Detroit
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Senior Member |
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I think a vegetable wrote this; ) This sounds foolish. Somebody once told
me that they don't take advice from fools, maybe they were trying to tell
me something; )
James
rick <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote:
> About Food & Diets & Exercise
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
>true?
>
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
>extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
>Take a nap.
>
>
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
>and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
>than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
>Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
>green leafy vegetable. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
>recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
>
>
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
>that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
>more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
>up!
>
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>exercise program?
>
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
>Pain...Good!
>
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
>vegetables be bad for you?
>
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>middle?
>
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
>best feel-good food around!
>
>
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>
>
>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>
>
>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>about food and diets.
>
>...
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| Re: OT: misconceptions [message #70474 is a reply to message #70469] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 12:23 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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it is a joke sent to me by a relative (doctor)
On 22 Jul 2006 01:28:26 +1000, "James McCloskey" <excelsm@hotmail.com>
wrote:
>
>I think a vegetable wrote this; ) This sounds foolish. Somebody once told
>me that they don't take advice from fools, maybe they were trying to tell
>me something; )
>
>James
>
>rick <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> About Food & Diets & Exercise
>>
>>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
>>true?
>>
>>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
>>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
>>extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
>>Take a nap.
>>
>>
>>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>>
>>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
>>and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
>>than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
>>Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
>>green leafy vegetable. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
>>recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
>>
>>
>>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>>
>>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
>>that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
>>more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
>>up!
>>
>>
>>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>>
>>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
>>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>>
>>
>>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>>exercise program?
>>
>>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
>>Pain...Good!
>>
>>
>>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>>
>>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
>>vegetables be bad for you?
>>
>>
>>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>>middle?
>>
>>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>>
>>
>>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>>
>>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
>>best feel-good food around!
>>
>>
>>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>>
>>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>>
>>
>>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>>
>>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>>
>>
>>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>>about food and diets.
>>
>>...
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