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| OT: a little IRS humor [message #69937] |
Tue, 04 July 2006 02:17  |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to
> the IRS office .
>
> The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up
> with his attorney.
> The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an
> extravagant lifestyle and no
> full-time employment, which you explain by saying
> that you win money
> gambling.
> I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
>
> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
> Ralph. "How about a
> demonstration?"
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
> ahead."
>
> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I
> can bite my own eye."
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's
> a bet."
>
> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The
> auditor' s jaw drops.
>
> Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
> that I can bite my other
> eye."
>
> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes
> the bet. Ralph removes
> his dentures and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
> lost three
> grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts
> to get nervous.
>
> "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
> bet you six thousand
> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
> and pee into that
> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
> anywhere in between."
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
> looks carefully
> and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
> stunt, so he agrees
> again.
>
> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
> but although
> he strains mightily; he can't make the stream reach
> the wastebasket on
> other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
> desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
> just turned a major loss
> into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts
> his head in his hands.
>
> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>
> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning,
> when Ralph told me he'd been
> summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand
> dollars that he could come
> in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and
> that you'd be happy
> about it."
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| Re: a little IRS humor [message #69943 is a reply to message #69937] |
Tue, 04 July 2006 08:04  |
Dubya Mark Wilson
Messages: 108
Registered: May 2006
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Senior Member |
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GREAT ONE !!!!! Will be repeated ateast twice today.
W.
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:ogcka2tp4fkua523lft2f7n4up0q5rf143@4ax.com...
>
> The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to
>> the IRS office .
>>
>> The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up
>> with his attorney.
>> The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an
>> extravagant lifestyle and no
>> full-time employment, which you explain by saying
>> that you win money
>> gambling.
>> I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
>>
>> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
>> Ralph. "How about a
>> demonstration?"
>>
>> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
>> ahead."
>>
>> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I
>> can bite my own eye."
>>
>> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's
>> a bet."
>>
>> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The
>> auditor' s jaw drops.
>>
>> Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
>> that I can bite my other
>> eye."
>>
>> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes
>> the bet. Ralph removes
>> his dentures and bites his good eye.
>>
>> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
>> lost three
>> grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts
>> to get nervous.
>>
>> "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
>> bet you six thousand
>> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
>> and pee into that
>> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
>> anywhere in between."
>>
>> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
>> looks carefully
>> and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
>> stunt, so he agrees
>> again.
>>
>> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
>> but although
>> he strains mightily; he can't make the stream reach
>> the wastebasket on
>> other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
>> desk.
>>
>> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
>> just turned a major loss
>> into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts
>> his head in his hands.
>>
>> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>>
>> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning,
>> when Ralph told me he'd been
>> summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand
>> dollars that he could come
>> in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and
>> that you'd be happy
>> about it."
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| Re: a little IRS humor [message #69944 is a reply to message #69937] |
Tue, 04 July 2006 08:03 |
Deej [1]
Messages: 2149
Registered: January 2006
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Senior Member |
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Cool!!!............I'm going to try this.
;o)
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:ogcka2tp4fkua523lft2f7n4up0q5rf143@4ax.com...
>
> The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to
> > the IRS office .
> >
> > The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up
> > with his attorney.
> > The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an
> > extravagant lifestyle and no
> > full-time employment, which you explain by saying
> > that you win money
> > gambling.
> > I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
> >
> > I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
> > Ralph. "How about a
> > demonstration?"
> >
> > The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
> > ahead."
> >
> > Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I
> > can bite my own eye."
> >
> > The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's
> > a bet."
> >
> > Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The
> > auditor' s jaw drops.
> >
> > Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
> > that I can bite my other
> > eye."
> >
> > The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes
> > the bet. Ralph removes
> > his dentures and bites his good eye.
> >
> > The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
> > lost three
> > grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts
> > to get nervous.
> >
> > "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
> > bet you six thousand
> > dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
> > and pee into that
> > wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
> > anywhere in between."
> >
> > The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
> > looks carefully
> > and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
> > stunt, so he agrees
> > again.
> >
> > Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
> > but although
> > he strains mightily; he can't make the stream reach
> > the wastebasket on
> > other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
> > desk.
> >
> > The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
> > just turned a major loss
> > into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts
> > his head in his hands.
> >
> > "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
> >
> > "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning,
> > when Ralph told me he'd been
> > summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand
> > dollars that he could come
> > in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and
> > that you'd be happy
> > about it."
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