| OT: a little IRS humor [message #69937] |
Tue, 04 July 2006 02:17  |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to
> the IRS office .
>
> The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up
> with his attorney.
> The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an
> extravagant lifestyle and no
> full-time employment, which you explain by saying
> that you win money
> gambling.
> I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
>
> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
> Ralph. "How about a
> demonstration?"
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
> ahead."
>
> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I
> can bite my own eye."
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's
> a bet."
>
> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The
> auditor' s jaw drops.
>
> Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
> that I can bite my other
> eye."
>
> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes
> the bet. Ralph removes
> his dentures and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
> lost three
> grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts
> to get nervous.
>
> "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
> bet you six thousand
> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
> and pee into that
> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
> anywhere in between."
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
> looks carefully
> and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
> stunt, so he agrees
> again.
>
> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
> but although
> he strains mightily; he can't make the stream reach
> the wastebasket on
> other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
> desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
> just turned a major loss
> into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts
> his head in his hands.
>
> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>
> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning,
> when Ralph told me he'd been
> summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand
> dollars that he could come
> in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and
> that you'd be happy
> about it."
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