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| OT: Funny Review [message #69553] |
Tue, 20 June 2006 13:57 |
Tony Benson
Messages: 453
Registered: June 2006
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Senior Member |
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A friend of mine ran across this review on Harmony Central while looking at
inexpensive basses for his son. I'm pretty sure it's satire, but funny none
the less.
Price Paid: US $70
Features: 10
it was made in heaven forged by jesus christ himself because it is
that ****ing good. this badboy has 24 frets all you need really, the
controlls of the king of bases is volumes controlls and tones
controlls, this badboy is made of wood, but dont be fooled by the
name wood, it should be called butter, no wood feels like rogue wood,
no wood at all!
this thing is red, bright red, if you buy a bottle of primary red in
a store it would not be as red
standard rogue pickups better than 1000 emgs and dimarzios played on
a base that god himself plays
it has a body like an ibanez, but trust me ibanez ripped off rogue,
rogue is the king of kings of bases and there is no way that ibanez
came up with this body first, its just so cool and so...rogue
this bad boy has large 5 string scale frets, because 5 strings look
cooler due to their thicker necks, and rogue wanting to make the
greatest bases ever, decided to make them look cooler by giving them
a 5 string neck
it came with a box, a cardboard box
Sound: 10
all the choirs of heaven suck compared to the glorious rogue sound. i
played musicmens and fenderses before i the day i laid eyes on my
rogue a day that my life would be changed forever a day like any
other day but a day that would mark me in a profound way and
transform my base sound into the sound of gods. i just had to try it,
it was brown, and it was red, and i had to have it, seeing that it
was under 100$ made me crap my pants in disbelief, after changing my
pants i ordered it and upon arrival bore witness to a sound that no
mortal man except those with 100$ can bear witness to, the sound of a
rogue, a sound that since my initial purchase will rock generations
upon generations. of course when my band gets signed, were called
"SERADED" and we are influenced by korn, limp bizkit, creed, kid
rock, and sliiiiiiiiiiipknot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the sound is so good that
my girlfriend RIP killed herself in order to never hear inferior base
playing. that was a little extreme of her, most people cut off their
ears to never hear an inferior bass again. others simply wait their
whole lives to hear such glory again
Action, Fit, & Finish: 10
listen as hard it was to believe it was made in a factory not by
jesus or the holy angels of heaven, it was made by rogue. whom i
believe to be a magical gnome with a fortress factory in korea, all
that dare enter it shall die. it had no flaws, this is the perfect
vessel for the base claff. the body was made of red and the neck,
brown. nothing can beat such power. my hands moved so fast that they
appeared to be in one location like lightspeed. everytime i play i
yell lightspeed and everyones like "KILLER MAN!!!!!!!!!" and i play
something so fast that they blink and cant see it happen. they
however crap their pants due to the sound of the purest and greatest
base ever. this base is flawless
Reliability/Durability: 10
i pulled out my 44 magnum and shot this bad boy, the bullet
ricocheted off of it and left no mark, however the bullet killed
every inferior musicman and fender in the area. if i touched another
base i would kill myself for betraying the rogue, im serious here
people this thing is solid, ive heard of people eating them and
digesting them without leaving a scratch, i took the polar plunge
last winter while rocking out with it and the thing plays like butter
still. the strap buttons are solid, who the hell makes liquid strap
buttons. ive played this for the last 85 days, not taking any breaks,
ive played it while eating and on the john, seriously i am playing it
while typing this, that is how good it is, it hasnt worn out and ive
been playing this bad boy for 2,040 hours straight and i play DEATH
METAL LIKE KORN!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer Support: N/A
why would i have to, it has a 30 day warranty, i have serious doubts
that it was made by rogue, it may have been made by JESUS! and if
thats the case i dont know where to find that guy for problems, all
in all this badboy wont need repairs! ever! its that solid
Overall Rating: 10
This base is the best ever, im suprised musicman and fender haven't
sent out a press release saying "we make crap" or been investigated
by the better business buereu for making crappy products. there is no
comparison to this, the reason it is priced so low is because it was
made by people who work for the love of it, people like rogue the
magical tree elf of the woods. i keep mine in a steel case in a room,
the room is located where i am now, there are thousands of landmines
outside to protect it from theives, there is no chance of this being
stolen or even touched by someone who is not me. i had 23 voodoo
priests put curses on it against the theives. i carry a sword and 5
guns to ward off theives 5 men have been wounded by me for even
looking at it funny. i love everything about it, it is bettter than a
musicman stinggay and a fender pee pee bass or a fender azz bass or a
rickensucker or a gibson thunderturd, this is a rogue and nothing
will stop it when it plays not even god
Original Link:
http://www.harmony-central.com/Bass/Data4/Rogue/SX100B-1.htm l
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