Home » The PARIS Forums » PARIS: Main » OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost????
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80511 is a reply to message #80507] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 12:36   |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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that would be me....
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
On 23 Feb 2007 04:57:47 +1000, "Rod Lincoln" <rlincoln@kc.rr.com>
wrote:
>
>Hey...someone posted a "Mens Top Ten Rules" a while back. I can't seem to
>find it now. Does anyone have it???
>Rod
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80525 is a reply to message #80511] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 16:31 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
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Senior Member |
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That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll be
about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the middle
of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl, hoping
whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but just
to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating the
toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go outside.
Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to mark
territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that, you
know. :)
Go in peace,
Sarah
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1lvrt2p2thpgkvk8m89elj88d99lqt1ari@4ax.com...
> that would be me....
>
>
> The Guys' Rules
> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>
> Finally , the guys' side of the story.
> ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> We always hear " the rules "
> From the female side.
>
>
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
> These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
> ON PURPOSE!
>
>
> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
> See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
> us to act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
> nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
> you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> fine... Really .
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
> or golf.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can -
> to give them a laugh.
>
> Pass this to as many women as you can -
> to give them a bigger laugh.
>
> On 23 Feb 2007 04:57:47 +1000, "Rod Lincoln" <rlincoln@kc.rr.com>
> wrote:
>
>>
>>Hey...someone posted a "Mens Top Ten Rules" a while back. I can't seem to
>>find it now. Does anyone have it???
>>Rod
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80534 is a reply to message #80525] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 17:10 |
uptown jimmy
Messages: 441
Registered: September 2005
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Senior Member |
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I love to pee outside. I always thought it was because I grew up on a farm
and spent plenty of time far from a toilet.
Jimmy
"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message news:45de3627$1@linux...
> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll
be
> about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the
middle
> of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl, hoping
> whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>
> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
just
> to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating the
> toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go
outside.
> Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to mark
> territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
you
> know. :)
>
> Go in peace,
>
> Sarah
>
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1lvrt2p2thpgkvk8m89elj88d99lqt1ari@4ax.com...
> > that would be me....
> >
> >
> > The Guys' Rules
> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
> >
> > Finally , the guys' side of the story.
> > ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> > We always hear " the rules "
> > From the female side.
> >
> >
> > Now here are the rules from the male side.
> > These are our rules!
> > Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
> > ON PURPOSE!
> >
> >
> > 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> > We need it up, you need it down.
> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> >
> > 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
> > or the changing of the tides.
> > Let it be.
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want.
> > Let us be clear on this one:
> > Subtle hints do not work!
> > Strong hints do not work!
> > Obvious hints do not work!
> > Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> > what we do.
> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
> > See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
> > us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> > Don't ask us.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
> > ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something
> > Or tell us how you want it done.
> > Not both.
> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
> >
> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> > We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> > We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
> > nothing's wrong.
> > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
> > you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> > fine... Really .
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
> > or golf.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this.
> > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> >
> >
> > But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
> >
> > Pass this to as many men as you can -
> > to give them a laugh.
> >
> > Pass this to as many women as you can -
> > to give them a bigger laugh.
> >
> > On 23 Feb 2007 04:57:47 +1000, "Rod Lincoln" <rlincoln@kc.rr.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> >>
> >>Hey...someone posted a "Mens Top Ten Rules" a while back. I can't seem
to
> >>find it now. Does anyone have it???
> >>Rod
> >
>
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80535 is a reply to message #80525] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 17:11 |
Doug Wellington
Messages: 251
Registered: June 2005
Location: Tucson, AZ, USA
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Senior Member |
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|
"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message news:45de3627$1@linux...
> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll
> be about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the
> middle of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl, hoping
> whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
So, did you ever make that mistake again? ;-)
Reminds me of two true stories, one related, one maybe not...
1) My ex-wife and I had that age-old argument. I finally offered an idea
that stuck - we'd BOTH close the toilet. I especially liked that idea
because we had a dog that loved to drink out of the thing and dribble
everywhere. (Female dog, if it matters...) So, one day, I'm sitting there,
minding my own business, when Mimi runs in the room doing the pee dance like
you wouldn't believe. OK, so I finish up, stand, turn around and flush and
close the lid out of habit, then turn to the sink. A moment later I hear an
un-Godly sound behind me! Turns out that she hadn't paid attention to the
fact that I closed the lid and she'd done the
spin-around-while-dropping-the-pants routine, only to plant her butt on the
lid and pee all over herself! (And of course get mad at ME!)
2) My current wife and I have two kids. For a while there, the bathroom was
really starting to smell like pee. I scrubbed (yes, me, the guy...) the
entire toilet, the floor, the wall, the tub, etc, but the smell just
wouldn't go away! Dang... Well, one night I was on the computer and I
heard my son get up and go into the bathroom. Something didn't seem right,
so I walked over and looked in - my son, who seemed to be sleep walking, had
opened the doors under the sink and was peeing away into the cabinet! We
had a lot of bathtub sponge toys, so they had been soaking it all up...
> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
> just to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating
> the toilet area from the overspray.
Have you ever lifted the seat and looked at the bottom side of it? Must be
splash back from people who sit down... ;-)
> Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to mark
> territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
> you know. :)
What's that old joke about the parents yelling at the girl because her name
had been written in the snow in pee? In her handwriting? ;-)
Doug (love that image of "terrified insects"...)
http://www.parisfaqs.com
http://www.parisfaqs.com
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80539 is a reply to message #80511] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 20:51 |
Rod Lincoln
Messages: 883
Registered: September 2005
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Thanks..much appreciated...and funny!
Rod
rick <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote:
>that would be me....
>
>
>The Guys' Rules
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>
> Finally , the guys' side of the story.
>( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>We always hear " the rules "
>From the female side.
>
>
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>These are our rules!
>Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>
>1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on this one:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>what we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
> See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
>us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
>ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something
>Or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
>you don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>fine... Really .
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or golf.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
>Pass this to as many men as you can -
>to give them a laugh.
>
>Pass this to as many women as you can -
>to give them a bigger laugh.
>
>On 23 Feb 2007 04:57:47 +1000, "Rod Lincoln" <rlincoln@kc.rr.com>
>wrote:
>
>>
>>Hey...someone posted a "Mens Top Ten Rules" a while back. I can't seem
to
>>find it now. Does anyone have it???
>>Rod
>
|
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|
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80543 is a reply to message #80535] |
Thu, 22 February 2007 23:02 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Yeah, I keep the lid down, too, to keep my cat out of the toilet water.
Good trick on Mimi, though. :) Does she know you've shared this story?
And yes, the tendency of the bottom of the seat to get spattered is another
argument for keeping it down.
S.
www.sarahtonin.com
"Doug Wellington" <doug@parisfaqs.com> wrote in message
news:45de3f97@linux...
> "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message
> news:45de3627$1@linux...
>> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll
>> be about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the
>> middle of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl,
>> hoping whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>
> So, did you ever make that mistake again? ;-)
>
> Reminds me of two true stories, one related, one maybe not...
>
> 1) My ex-wife and I had that age-old argument. I finally offered an idea
> that stuck - we'd BOTH close the toilet. I especially liked that idea
> because we had a dog that loved to drink out of the thing and dribble
> everywhere. (Female dog, if it matters...) So, one day, I'm sitting
> there, minding my own business, when Mimi runs in the room doing the pee
> dance like you wouldn't believe. OK, so I finish up, stand, turn around
> and flush and close the lid out of habit, then turn to the sink. A moment
> later I hear an un-Godly sound behind me! Turns out that she hadn't paid
> attention to the fact that I closed the lid and she'd done the
> spin-around-while-dropping-the-pants routine, only to plant her butt on
> the lid and pee all over herself! (And of course get mad at ME!)
>
> 2) My current wife and I have two kids. For a while there, the bathroom
> was really starting to smell like pee. I scrubbed (yes, me, the guy...)
> the entire toilet, the floor, the wall, the tub, etc, but the smell just
> wouldn't go away! Dang... Well, one night I was on the computer and I
> heard my son get up and go into the bathroom. Something didn't seem
> right, so I walked over and looked in - my son, who seemed to be sleep
> walking, had opened the doors under the sink and was peeing away into the
> cabinet! We had a lot of bathtub sponge toys, so they had been soaking it
> all up...
>
>> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
>> just to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating
>> the toilet area from the overspray.
>
> Have you ever lifted the seat and looked at the bottom side of it? Must
> be splash back from people who sit down... ;-)
>
>> Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to mark
>> territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
>> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
>> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
>> you know. :)
>
> What's that old joke about the parents yelling at the girl because her
> name had been written in the snow in pee? In her handwriting? ;-)
>
> Doug (love that image of "terrified insects"...)
>
> http://www.parisfaqs.com
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80548 is a reply to message #80525] |
Fri, 23 February 2007 01:44 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
actually my cousin (female) sent it to me.
i say women should stand to pee...i have no valid reasoning to support
this folly.
never done the bug thing...raised catholic and i'm sure there's a
commandment about that.
peace out
mr. football head
On Thu, 22 Feb 2007 16:31:37 -0800, "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com>
wrote:
>That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll be
>about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the middle
>of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl, hoping
>whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>
>Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but just
>to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating the
>toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go outside.
>Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to mark
>territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
>terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
>snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that, you
>know. :)
>
>Go in peace,
>
>Sarah
>
>
>"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:1lvrt2p2thpgkvk8m89elj88d99lqt1ari@4ax.com...
>> that would be me....
>>
>>
>> The Guys' Rules
>> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>>
>> Finally , the guys' side of the story.
>> ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>> We always hear " the rules "
>> From the female side.
>>
>>
>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> These are our rules!
>> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
>> ON PURPOSE!
>>
>>
>> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>>
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>> We need it up, you need it down.
>> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
>> or the changing of the tides.
>> Let it be.
>>
>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>
>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1. Ask for what you want.
>> Let us be clear on this one:
>> Subtle hints do not work!
>> Strong hints do not work!
>> Obvious hints do not work!
>> Just say it!
>>
>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>> question.
>>
>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>> what we do.
>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>> See a doctor.
>>
>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
>> us to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>> Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
>> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>>
>> 1. You can either ask us to do something
>> Or tell us how you want it done.
>> Not both.
>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>> commercials.
>>
>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>>
>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>> We have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>> We do that.
>>
>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>> nothing's wrong.
>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>
>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
>> you don't want to hear.
>>
>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>> fine... Really .
>>
>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>> discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>> or golf.
>>
>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>
>>
>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>>
>> Pass this to as many men as you can -
>> to give them a laugh.
>>
>> Pass this to as many women as you can -
>> to give them a bigger laugh.
>>
>> On 23 Feb 2007 04:57:47 +1000, "Rod Lincoln" <rlincoln@kc.rr.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>Hey...someone posted a "Mens Top Ten Rules" a while back. I can't seem to
>>>find it now. Does anyone have it???
>>>Rod
>>
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80564 is a reply to message #80557] |
Fri, 23 February 2007 11:47 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
dude, it shoots between the seat and he bowl..when the eyes are at
half mast.
On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:25:38 -0700, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
wrote:
>
>"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message news:45de3627$1@linux...
>> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female. You'll
>> be about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the
>> middle of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl, hoping
>> whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>>
>> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
>> just to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine coating
>> the toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go
>> outside. Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to
>> mark territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can blast
>> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
>> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
>> you know. :)
>>
>> Go in peace,
>>
>> Sarah
>
>Men cannot sit to pee. The overspray is part of the territorial imperative
>and if we do this, lightning will strike us and we will die.. .......I do
>agree that men should pee outside though (and so does my wife ;o). There's
>nothing more manly than greeting the day by walking out into the back yard
>in the morning and having a pissin' contest with one's dog.
>
>;o)
>
>
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80572 is a reply to message #80564] |
Fri, 23 February 2007 13:25 |
Deej [4]
Messages: 1292
Registered: January 2007
|
Senior Member |
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ROTFL!!!..............well, the question then would be, can you hit the
opposite wall (or cabinets, bathtub, etc)? If you can pull this off, then I
guess it would be OK to sit to pee as long as you can actually accomplish
something useful and manly by doing so.
;o)
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:g5hut2p2du5ba3m4v3sq65t0nl6ia4upta@4ax.com...
> dude, it shoots between the seat and he bowl..when the eyes are at
> half mast.
>
>
>
> On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:25:38 -0700, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
> wrote:
>
>>
>>"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message
>>news:45de3627$1@linux...
>>> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female.
>>> You'll
>>> be about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in the
>>> middle of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl,
>>> hoping
>>> whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>>>
>>> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
>>> just to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine
>>> coating
>>> the toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go
>>> outside. Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge to
>>> mark territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can
>>> blast
>>> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
>>> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
>>> you know. :)
>>>
>>> Go in peace,
>>>
>>> Sarah
>>
>>Men cannot sit to pee. The overspray is part of the territorial
>>imperative
>>and if we do this, lightning will strike us and we will die.. .......I do
>>agree that men should pee outside though (and so does my wife ;o). There's
>>nothing more manly than greeting the day by walking out into the back yard
>>in the morning and having a pissin' contest with one's dog.
>>
>>;o)
>>
>>
>>
>
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| Re: OT: Men's Top Ten Rules...repost???? [message #80582 is a reply to message #80572] |
Fri, 23 February 2007 18:35 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
LOL! OK, stop now, the both o' yez. My sides hurt.
S.
"DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com> wrote in message news:45df5bd6@linux...
> ROTFL!!!..............well, the question then would be, can you hit the
> opposite wall (or cabinets, bathtub, etc)? If you can pull this off, then
> I guess it would be OK to sit to pee as long as you can actually
> accomplish something useful and manly by doing so.
>
> ;o)
>
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:g5hut2p2du5ba3m4v3sq65t0nl6ia4upta@4ax.com...
>> dude, it shoots between the seat and he bowl..when the eyes are at
>> half mast.
>>
>>
>>
>> On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:25:38 -0700, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message
>>>news:45de3627$1@linux...
>>>> That's pretty funny. But next lifetime you may come back female.
>>>> You'll
>>>> be about 8 years old and wander sleepily into the bathroom to pee in
>>>> the
>>>> middle of the night and you'll sit right down into the toilet bowl,
>>>> hoping
>>>> whichever sleepy male left the seat up remembered to flush.
>>>>
>>>> Men should sit to pee anyway. Not to humiliate or emasculate them, but
>>>> just to prevent the drips and splatter and the fine mist of urine
>>>> coating
>>>> the toilet area from the overspray. Hey, if you wanna stand to pee, go
>>>> outside. Guys like to pee outside . . . it satisfies a primitive urge
>>>> to
>>>> mark territory. Just make sure you spit on the same spot. You can
>>>> blast
>>>> terrified insects off the side of a tree, or burn yellow designs in the
>>>> snow. You should enjoy that special ability . . . girls can't do that,
>>>> you know. :)
>>>>
>>>> Go in peace,
>>>>
>>>> Sarah
>>>
>>>Men cannot sit to pee. The overspray is part of the territorial
>>>imperative
>>>and if we do this, lightning will strike us and we will die.. .......I do
>>>agree that men should pee outside though (and so does my wife ;o).
>>>There's
>>>nothing more manly than greeting the day by walking out into the back
>>>yard
>>>in the morning and having a pissin' contest with one's dog.
>>>
>>>;o)
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
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