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| An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 05:11  |
Anonymous
Messages: 2
Registered: August 2006
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Junior Member |
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I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
for this question for my own reasons.
An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her objection
to having my studio in the house or
even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
where people would understand where I am coming from.
I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
I am torn.
Thanks.
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70768 is a reply to message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 05:43  |
Kim
Messages: 1246
Registered: October 2005
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Senior Member |
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Gee. I have no answers, but I just wanted to say I hope you work out a compromise.
That sounds like a toughie. The only thing I can suggest is something like...
...finding another studio you can rent and work in to record other acts,
and perhaps keep a personal studio in your place for your own use and to
do tweaks on other projects when you get inspired. etc etc.
Ideally you'd need to find another studio that uses the same system (Paris?)
as what you use, but if you use Paris that could be difficult. I hate to
say it but with this kind of dillemma it may be worth switching systems so
you can find a local studio that is compatible with your system.
I can't beleive I said that. ;o)
Only option I can see... ...that way you could still work on music, albeit
in other places, and bring the tunes home to make tweaks etc.
The other thing I would say, and this is kinda none of my business, but she
has to understand how important music is to you. I can see her issue for
sure, especially with her having a daughter about and all, but she needs
to make space for your needs as well. One thing I would be keen to find out
is whether or not down the track she may be willing to change her tact once
her daughter is older or whatever. I mean when her daughter is 15 it's not
impossible that her daughter will bring home people just as scary as any
muso. ;o) No reflection upon your girlfriend's daughter at all of course,
as I wouldn't know her from a bar of soap... except the soap would likely
to be smaller, shaped like soap, etc etc. ;o)
It would be relevant to me, given the situation, to find out whether the
ban is eternal or whether you could make a pact that "Once all the kids are
15" (for example) you can get back to doing music in your own place. No doubt
you don't want to wait that long...
....hmm, I don't know.
That's my 2 cents anyhow... from a guy who's girlfriend is still Paris.
;o) ...no, not THAT Paris. ;o)
Cheers,
Kim.
"Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote:
>
>I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
>for this question for my own reasons.
>
> An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
>My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her
objection
>to having my studio in the house or
>even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
>share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
>our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
>Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
>an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
>further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
>to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
>time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
>I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
>where people would understand where I am coming from.
>I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
>daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
>I am torn.
>
>Thanks.
>
>
>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70771 is a reply to message #70768] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 06:14 |
Deej [1]
Messages: 2149
Registered: January 2006
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Senior Member |
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>The other thing I would say, and this is kinda none of my business, but she
has to understand how important music is to you. I can see her issue for
sure, especially with her having a daughter about and all, but she needs
to make space for your needs as well.<
This is absolutely the bottom line. She needs to be totally clear on this.
It's just going to be a source of grief for both of you otherwise.
Seriously. Are you plannig on using it commercially on a limited basis? If
so there are a bunch of other considerations to deal with, but if it's just
a matter of some musician friends/acquaintances dropping by occasionally
that she doesn't know, this would likely happen anyway and until she knows
them, they are strangers anyway.
A marriage should be a win-win. Yes, it brings about change and
accommodation, but cert6ain basic things are deal breakers and they are best
addressed "prior to".
Also........think about all of the gear you can buy if you're not supporting
a family (OK......OK........sorry, I couldn't resist)
;o)
"Kim" <hiddensounds@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:44d09de1$1@linux...
>
>
> Gee. I have no answers, but I just wanted to say I hope you work out a
compromise.
> That sounds like a toughie. The only thing I can suggest is something
like...
> ...finding another studio you can rent and work in to record other
acts,
> and perhaps keep a personal studio in your place for your own use and to
> do tweaks on other projects when you get inspired. etc etc.
>
> Ideally you'd need to find another studio that uses the same system
(Paris?)
> as what you use, but if you use Paris that could be difficult. I hate to
> say it but with this kind of dillemma it may be worth switching systems so
> you can find a local studio that is compatible with your system.
>
> I can't beleive I said that. ;o)
>
> Only option I can see... ...that way you could still work on music,
albeit
> in other places, and bring the tunes home to make tweaks etc.
>
> The other thing I would say, and this is kinda none of my business, but
she
> has to understand how important music is to you. I can see her issue for
> sure, especially with her having a daughter about and all, but she needs
> to make space for your needs as well. One thing I would be keen to find
out
> is whether or not down the track she may be willing to change her tact
once
> her daughter is older or whatever. I mean when her daughter is 15 it's not
> impossible that her daughter will bring home people just as scary as any
> muso. ;o) No reflection upon your girlfriend's daughter at all of course,
> as I wouldn't know her from a bar of soap... except the soap would likely
> to be smaller, shaped like soap, etc etc. ;o)
>
> It would be relevant to me, given the situation, to find out whether the
> ban is eternal or whether you could make a pact that "Once all the kids
are
> 15" (for example) you can get back to doing music in your own place. No
doubt
> you don't want to wait that long...
>
> ...hmm, I don't know.
>
> That's my 2 cents anyhow... from a guy who's girlfriend is still Paris.
> ;o) ...no, not THAT Paris. ;o)
>
> Cheers,
> Kim.
>
> "Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote:
> >
> >I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
> >for this question for my own reasons.
> >
> > An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
> >My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her
> objection
> >to having my studio in the house or
> >even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
> >share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
> >our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
> >Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
> >an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
> >further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
> >to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
> >time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
> >I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
> >where people would understand where I am coming from.
> >I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
> >daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
> >I am torn.
> >
> >Thanks.
> >
> >
> >
>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70773 is a reply to message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 07:04 |
John Macy
Messages: 242
Registered: April 2006
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Senior Member |
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I think that one of the main things that has made my
marriage work (28 years this October) is keeping the
studio thing out of my house. While I currently have
one of my Paris rigs setup at home, it is seldom that
anyone comes by, though it gives me some time for edits
and premixes...
We have two kids (16 and 7) and havving a flow of people
through the house would be very distracting. While my wife
is very supportive of what I do (I have made a living at this
since I was 19), she likes for me to be "at home" when I am
at home, and to tell you the truth, I really like it, too.
It gives me some space and perspective away from the biz.
We thought very seriously about having the potential for a
studio space when we moved about 5 years ago--either a walkout
with a separate entrance or a seperate building, and in the
end decided having a home was more important, so I keep a 'space elsewhere.
It is a tough situation, and this is just how I did it. Compromise is very
important, and communication is the key
to this problem.
Hope this helps, and best of luck.
John
"Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote:
>
>I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
>for this question for my own reasons.
>
> An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
>My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her
objection
>to having my studio in the house or
>even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
>share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
>our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
>Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
>an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
>further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
>to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
>time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
>I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
>where people would understand where I am coming from.
>I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
>daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
>I am torn.
>
>Thanks.
>
>
>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70777 is a reply to message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 09:51 |
Tony Benson
Messages: 453
Registered: June 2006
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Senior Member |
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Like you said, "writing, recording, and playing music is my passion". If
you give this up for her, how can it cause anything but resentment down the
road?
I can only tell you my perspective and that is that my "soul mate"
understands and celebrates my passion with music and would never think of
denying me of that passion.
If safety is her concern, a separate building near your home, strict rules
for your studio guests, and two good security systems seems like a fair
compromise to me.
Tony
"Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote in message
news:44d09661$1@linux...
>
> I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
> for this question for my own reasons.
>
> An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
> My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her
> objection
> to having my studio in the house or
> even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
> share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
> our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
> Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
> an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
> further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
> to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
> time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
> I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
> where people would understand where I am coming from.
> I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
> daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
> I am torn.
>
> Thanks.
>
>
>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70778 is a reply to message #70777] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 10:21 |
Tom Bruhl
Messages: 1368
Registered: June 2007
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Senior Member |
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This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
------=_NextPart_000_0064_01C6B636.99150A60
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charset="iso-8859-1"
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Anon,
I agree that if music's your passion it can't be thrown aside without=20
trouble brewing down the line. I built my room in my house.
My wife is also very understanding. The studio does have a direct=20
entrance and a separate bathroom (she insisted and was right about =
that!).
General studio in house considerations:
Musicians can be pigs.
Musicians aren't usually thinking of your family when they're paying for =
time.
Musician's aren't usually thieves.=20
Make sure they leave the posse at their crib.
Even if your studio is completely sound proof (mine is) the musicians =
will
be louder than your neighbors will want when departing with their wicked =
cool
tracks at 3:00am and kissing each other goodbye. They will blast it in =
their car
at that time too. Especially if your last playback was set to stun in =
your room.
Most of my friends are musicians so many of my clients are invited to my
house on the social level anyway.
If music is a passion of yours it won't go away. Make sure your =
girlfriend
understands that it has to be a part of your life for both of you to be =
happy.
Good luck!
Tom
"Tony Benson" <tony@standinghampton.com> wrote in message =
news:44d0d6c8@linux...
Like you said, "writing, recording, and playing music is my passion". =
If=20
you give this up for her, how can it cause anything but resentment =
down the=20
road?
I can only tell you my perspective and that is that my "soul mate"=20
understands and celebrates my passion with music and would never think =
of=20
denying me of that passion.
If safety is her concern, a separate building near your home, strict =
rules=20
for your studio guests, and two good security systems seems like a =
fair=20
compromise to me.
Tony
"Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote in message=20
news:44d09661$1@linux...
>
> I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
> for this question for my own reasons.
>
> An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
> My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed =
her=20
> objection
> to having my studio in the house or
> even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
> share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
> our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
> Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
> an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
> further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
> to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
> time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
> I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
> where people would understand where I am coming from.
> I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
> daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
> I am torn.
>
> Thanks.
>
>
>=20
I choose Polesoft Lockspam to fight spam, and you?
http://www.polesoft.com/refer.html
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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Anon,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I agree that if music's your passion it =
can't be=20
thrown aside without </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>trouble brewing down the line. I =
built my=20
room in my house.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>My wife is also <EM>very</EM>=20
understanding. The studio does have a direct =
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>entrance </FONT><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2>and a=20
separate bathroom (she insisted and was right about that!).</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><U>General studio in house=20
considerations:</U></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Musicians can be pigs.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Musicians aren't usually thinking =
of your=20
family when they're paying for time.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Musician's aren't usually thieves. =
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Make sure they leave the posse at their =
crib.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Even if your studio is completely sound =
proof (mine=20
is) the musicians will</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>be louder than your neighbors will want =
when=20
departing with their wicked cool</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>tracks at 3:00am and kissing each other =
goodbye.=20
They will blast it in their car</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>at that time too. Especially if =
your last=20
playback was set to stun in your room.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Most of my friends are musicians so =
many of my=20
clients are invited to my</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>house on the social level =
anyway.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>If music is a passion of yours it won't =
go=20
away. Make sure your girlfriend</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>understands that it has to be a part of =
your life=20
for both of you to be happy.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Good luck!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Tom</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"Tony Benson" <<A=20
=
href=3D"mailto:tony@standinghampton.com">tony@standinghampton.com</A>>=
wrote=20
in message <A =
href=3D"news:44d0d6c8@linux">news:44d0d6c8@linux</A>...</DIV>Like=20
you said, "writing, recording, and playing music is my passion". =
If=20
<BR>you give this up for her, how can it cause anything but resentment =
down=20
the <BR>road?<BR><BR>I can only tell you my perspective and that is =
that my=20
"soul mate" <BR>understands and celebrates my passion with music and =
would=20
never think of <BR>denying me of that passion.<BR><BR>If safety is her =
concern, a separate building near your home, strict rules <BR>for your =
studio=20
guests, and two good security systems seems like a fair <BR>compromise =
to=20
me.<BR><BR>Tony<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Anonymous" <<A=20
href=3D"mailto:Anonymous@your.domain">Anonymous@your.domain</A>> =
wrote in=20
message <BR><A=20
=
href=3D"news:44d09661$1@linux">news:44d09661$1@linux</A>...<BR>><BR>&g=
t; I=20
frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous<BR>> =
for this=20
question for my own reasons.<BR>><BR>> An interesting =
conversation arose=20
last night at home.<BR>> My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am =
considering=20
marrying) expressed her <BR>> objection<BR>> to having my studio =
in the=20
house or<BR>> even as a seperate building next to the house that we =
may<BR>> share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers =
to<BR>>=20
our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".<BR>> Writing, =
recording=20
and playing music is my passion and<BR>> an emotional release for =
me. I=20
can't imagine not having it<BR>> further than arms length away from =
me. It=20
also is not feasable<BR>> to rent a studio space when I don't =
intend on=20
doing it full<BR>> time as a business. Any advise would be greatly=20
appreciated.<BR>> I posted here because I figured this would be the =
one=20
place<BR>> where people would understand where I am coming =
from.<BR>> I=20
understand where she is coming from since she has a little<BR>> =
daughter,=20
but music is a huge part of who I am.<BR>> I am =
torn.<BR>><BR>>=20
Thanks.<BR>><BR>><BR>> <BR><BR></BLOCKQUOTE>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2><BR><BR>I choose Polesoft Lockspam to fight spam, =
and=20
you?<BR><A=20
href=3D"http://www.polesoft.com/refer.html">http://www.polesoft.com/refer=
..html</A> </FONT></DIV></BODY ></HTML>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70794 is a reply to message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 18:44 |
excelav
Messages: 2130
Registered: July 2005
Location: Metro Detroit
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Senior Member |
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I guess this depends, if it's about making money in your studio or just a
private studio. I would try to find a studio to cut tracks in and bring
the tracks home for mixing. If you want to run a full time commercial studio
out of your house, you've got some talking and compromising to do. Deej
is right, you practically need an agreement in writing before you get hitched.
I've seen a home studio where a guy had a three car garage built. Under
the garage was excavated and they used a suspension system for the garage
floor. There was a side door with a cement stair well in side the garage
to get to the studio, and egress windows for additional ways to escape.
A friends studio is on top of his 4 car garage. I think it has a 5/12 pitch
roof, and is 16x50'. The steps are in side the garage.
Another guy built a double deep garage From the front of the house it looks
like a big two car garage. It's approximately 26 wide x 52 deep. The first
22' is garage and the rest is studio, about 26x 30 with separate entrances.
I hope this gives you some Ideas.
James
"Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain> wrote:
>
>I frequent this newsgroup , but would like to remain anonymous
>for this question for my own reasons.
>
> An interesting conversation arose last night at home.
>My girlfriend of 2 years (whom I am considering marrying) expressed her
objection
>to having my studio in the house or
>even as a seperate building next to the house that we may
>share in the future. Her concern is bringing strangers to
>our house. She feels that is "asking for trouble".
>Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
>an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
>further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
>to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
>time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
>I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
>where people would understand where I am coming from.
>I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
>daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
>I am torn.
>
>Thanks.
>
>
>
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70800 is a reply to message #70765] |
Wed, 02 August 2006 21:07 |
Paul Braun
Messages: 391
Registered: September 2005
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Senior Member |
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On 2 Aug 2006 22:11:13 +1000, "Anonymous" <Anonymous@your.domain>
wrote:
>Writing, recording and playing music is my passion and
>an emotional release for me. I can't imagine not having it
>further than arms length away from me. It also is not feasable
>to rent a studio space when I don't intend on doing it full
>time as a business. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
>I posted here because I figured this would be the one place
>where people would understand where I am coming from.
>I understand where she is coming from since she has a little
>daughter, but music is a huge part of who I am.
A friend of mine who is also a professional musician (has been his
entire life, practically) built a fully-professional studio up above
his 2-car attached garage. His wife had originally wanted it for
another bedroom, but realized that by having the studio at the house,
he would have quick access when inspiration struck, the commute would
be very short, and ulitmately, she would see him more. The studio is
mostly for his own use, whether it be one of his projects, the band
he's in, or projects for other friends of his.
The studio is completely soundproof to the rest of the house. There
is a heavy steel door between the studio and the upstairs hallway, and
there is a completely isolated and separate outside entrance so that
clients never actually enter the house. It's understood that his
world is on the other side of the door, and it's off-limits to anyone
else, unless he invites you in.
Works very well. And he lives in a very upscale neighborhood. And his
family is completely on board with this - he and his wife have been
married for 34 years now - he was a musician when they met, so she
knows that music is what makes him tick.
pab
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| Re: An interesting conversation arose last night.... [message #70823 is a reply to message #70794] |
Thu, 03 August 2006 07:54 |
Robert Arsenault
Messages: 49
Registered: September 2006
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> Another guy built a double deep garage From the front of the house it
> looks
> like a big two car garage. It's approximately 26 wide x 52 deep. The
> first
> 22' is garage and the rest is studio, about 26x 30 with separate
> entrances.
>
This is the way I'm setup, love it. I do mostly commercial and some of my
own stuff as well. Of course, things are pretty mellow around here, most
session wrap-up by 11 or 12:00PM. I have never had any big issues in 4 years
of operation. My wife does her thing (vet) and I do mine (biomed
tech/studio) and we meet in the middle for some family time, no surprises,
going on 14 years.
Good luck bro, straight up, no surprises, the only way to go.
http://www.studiomanitou.com/Construction/images/house.jpg
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