Home » The PARIS Forums » PARIS: Main » I'm sorry
| I'm sorry [message #93350] |
Wed, 05 December 2007 15:26  |
DJ
Messages: 1124
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
breath. This made him...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of =
chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
appliances). Why chrome?=20
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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<STYLE></STYLE>
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<BODY>
<DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma Gandhi,=20
walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of =
calluses=20
on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and =
with his=20
odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A super =
callused=20
fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells the patient =
that=20
his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the patient's =
penchant for=20
Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is =
corrosive to=20
most dental appliances). Why chrome? <BR>There's no plate like chrome =
for the=20
Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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| Re: I'm sorry [message #93352 is a reply to message #93350] |
Wed, 05 December 2007 16:15  |
Don Nafe
Messages: 1206
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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And you should be!
"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message =
news:475734a8$1@linux...
Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
breath. This made him...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of =
chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
appliances). Why chrome?=20
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>And you should be!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message <A =
href=3D"news:475734a8$1@linux">news:475734a8$1@linux</A>...</DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma=20
Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive =
set of=20
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather =
frail and=20
with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A =
super=20
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells =
the=20
patient that his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the =
patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon =
juice in=20
it, and is corrosive to most dental appliances). Why chrome? =
<BR>There's no=20
plate like chrome for the=20
Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY ></HTML>
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| Re: I'm sorry [message #93359 is a reply to message #93350] |
Wed, 05 December 2007 22:33 |
Aaron Allen
Messages: 1988
Registered: May 2008
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Senior Member |
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I knew no good would come of this when I saw the apology first. 8*P~
AA
"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message =
news:475734a8$1@linux...
Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
breath. This made him...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of =
chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
appliances). Why chrome?=20
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16544" name=3DGENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I knew no good would come of this when =
I saw the=20
apology first. 8*P~</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>AA</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message <A =
href=3D"news:475734a8$1@linux">news:475734a8$1@linux</A>...</DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma=20
Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive =
set of=20
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather =
frail and=20
with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A =
super=20
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells =
the=20
patient that his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the =
patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon =
juice in=20
it, and is corrosive to most dental appliances). Why chrome? =
<BR>There's no=20
plate like chrome for the=20
Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY ></HTML>
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| Re: I'm sorry [message #93362 is a reply to message #93350] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 01:42 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
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Senior Member |
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Bad! Bad Deej! No biscuit! Go lie down!
"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message =
news:475734a8$1@linux...
Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
breath. This made him...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of =
chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
appliances). Why chrome?=20
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16544" name=3DGENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#fffbf0>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Bad! Bad Deej! No =
biscuit! Go lie=20
down!</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message <A =
href=3D"news:475734a8$1@linux">news:475734a8$1@linux</A>...</DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma=20
Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive =
set of=20
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather =
frail and=20
with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A =
super=20
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells =
the=20
patient that his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the =
patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon =
juice in=20
it, and is corrosive to most dental appliances). Why chrome? =
<BR>There's no=20
plate like chrome for the=20
Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY ></HTML>
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| Ow . . . I'm really sorry . . . [message #93363 is a reply to message #93350] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 01:54 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
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Senior Member |
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This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
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And by the way, speaking of callouses on feet, it's been discovered that =
those painful plantar warts are not true warts at all but merely large, =
painful hardened pores. And oddly enough, it's been found that the best =
treatment is simply to gradually "sand" them down using dried corncobs, =
a technique known as hard pore cornography.
:)
S
"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message =
news:475734a8$1@linux...
Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
breath. This made him...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of =
chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
appliances). Why chrome?=20
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
------=_NextPart_000_0052_01C837AA.EA02D000
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charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16544" name=3DGENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#fffbf0>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>And by the way, speaking of callouses =
on feet, it's=20
been discovered that those painful plantar warts are not true warts at =
all but=20
merely large, painful hardened pores. And oddly enough, it's been =
found=20
that the best treatment is simply to gradually "sand" them down using =
dried=20
corncobs, a technique known as hard pore cornography.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>:)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>S</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message <A =
href=3D"news:475734a8$1@linux">news:475734a8$1@linux</A>...</DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma=20
Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive =
set of=20
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather =
frail and=20
with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A =
super=20
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells =
the=20
patient that his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the =
patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon =
juice in=20
it, and is corrosive to most dental appliances). Why chrome? =
<BR>There's no=20
plate like chrome for the=20
Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY ></HTML>
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| Re: I'm sorry Bing [message #93366 is a reply to message #93350] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 08:31 |
D-unit
Messages: 69
Registered: February 2006
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Member |
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This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
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Oh no you di-int....
A long time ago, back in the autumn of 1952, when Bing Crosby was
filming the movie "White Christmas" in New Hampshire, the Mayor of
Nashua, NH thought it would be a great idea to have Bing visit their
fair town & present him with the key to the city on the steps of City
Hall. You know, a nice little photo op for the mayor's re-election &
a
way for some of the town's dignitaries to meet the Great Bing Crosby.
Now one as to remember, Bing Crosby at this time was at the peak of
his
singing career. He was bigger than Elvis, the Beatles, Sinatra & the
Beach Boys all put together. He crossed generational lines, admired
by
young & old as one of the "coolest cats" in the music world.
Well, word leaked out that Bing would be in town so hundreds of
teenagers skipped school to attend the little ceremony. The
authorities
were not prepared for such a large crowd, there were only a few
policemen present, and things soon got out of hand. Pushing &
shoving
began as the teenagers all wanted to get closer to see their hero.
It
soon looked like the Mayor was going to a have a riot on his hands
and
he was growing more frantic by the minute. All he wanted was a nice
little ceremony with Bing and now he had a full fledged uprising
threatening to ruin everything.
Throughout all this Bing was seated in his chair, calmly observing
what
was happening. When the crowd started to push through the barricades
that were set up, he had had enough. Bing got up, strolled to the
microphone & said in a commanding voice, "All right, everyone cool
down
right now"! The rioting crowd immediately calmed down and the Mayor's
little ceremony went on without a hitch & everyone went home happy.
The next day the headline in the newspaper read: CROSBY STILLS NASHUA
YOUNG!!
Merry Xmas to All!!!
db
..
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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><STRONG>Oh no you =
di-int....</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><STRONG></STRONG></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" =
size=3D3>A long time=20
ago, back in the autumn of 1952, when Bing Crosby was<BR>filming the =
movie=20
"White Christmas" in New Hampshire, the Mayor of<BR>Nashua, NH thought =
it would=20
be a great idea to have Bing visit their<BR>fair town & present him =
with the=20
key to the city on the steps of City<BR>Hall. You know, a nice little =
photo op=20
for the mayor's re-election &<BR>a<BR>way for some of the town's =
dignitaries=20
to meet the Great Bing Crosby.<BR><BR>Now one as to remember, Bing =
Crosby at=20
this time was at the peak of<BR>his<BR>singing career. He was =
bigger than=20
Elvis, the Beatles, Sinatra & the<BR>Beach Boys all put =
together. He=20
crossed generational lines, admired<BR>by<BR>young & old as one of =
the=20
"coolest cats" in the music world.<BR><BR>Well, word leaked out that =
Bing would=20
be in town so hundreds of<BR>teenagers skipped school to attend the =
little=20
ceremony. The<BR>authorities<BR>were not prepared for such a large =
crowd,=20
there were only a few<BR>policemen present, and things soon got out of=20
hand. Pushing &<BR>shoving<BR>began as the teenagers all =
wanted to get=20
closer to see their hero.<BR>It<BR>soon looked like the Mayor was going =
to a=20
have a riot on his hands<BR>and<BR>he was growing more frantic by the=20
minute. All he wanted was a nice<BR>little ceremony with Bing and =
now he=20
had a full fledged uprising<BR>threatening to ruin=20
everything.<BR><BR><BR>Throughout all this Bing was seated in his chair, =
calmly=20
observing<BR>what<BR>was happening. When the crowd started to push =
through=20
the barricades<BR>that were set up, he had had enough. Bing got =
up,=20
strolled to the<BR>microphone & said in a commanding voice, "All =
right,=20
everyone cool<BR>down<BR>right now"! The rioting crowd immediately =
calmed down=20
and the Mayor's<BR>little ceremony went on without a hitch & =
everyone went=20
home happy.<BR><BR><BR>The next day the headline in the newspaper read: =
CROSBY=20
STILLS NASHUA<BR>YOUNG!!<BR><BR><BR>Merry Xmas to =
All!!!</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"=20
size=3D3></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>db</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2> </DIV>
<DIV><BR><STRONG>.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML >
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| Re: Ow . . . I'm really sorry . . . [message #93370 is a reply to message #93363] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 13:34 |
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YEOWWWW! Stop it now! You kids play nice!
"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote:
>
>
>And by the way, speaking of callouses on feet, it's been discovered that
=
>those painful plantar warts are not true warts at all but merely large,
=
>painful hardened pores. And oddly enough, it's been found that the best
=
>treatment is simply to gradually "sand" them down using dried corncobs,
=
>a technique known as hard pore cornography.
>
>:)
>
>S
> "DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message =
>news:475734a8$1@linux...
> Mahatma Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an =
>impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which =
>made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad =
>breath. This made him...
> A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.=20
>
> The dentist tells the patient that his upper plate needs to be made of
=
>chrome because of the patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which =
>has a lot of lemon juice in it, and is corrosive to most dental =
>appliances). Why chrome?=20
> There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
>
><!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
><HTML><HEAD>
><META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
>charset=3Diso-8859-1">
><META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16544" name=3DGENERATOR>
><STYLE></STYLE>
></HEAD>
><BODY bgColor=3D#fffbf0>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>And by the way, speaking of callouses =
>on feet, it's=20
>been discovered that those painful plantar warts are not true warts at =
>all but=20
>merely large, painful hardened pores. And oddly enough, it's been =
>found=20
>that the best treatment is simply to gradually "sand" them down using =
>dried=20
>corncobs, a technique known as hard pore cornography.</FONT></DIV>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>:)</FONT></DIV>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>S</FONT></DIV>
><BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
>style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
>BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
> <DIV>"DJ" <animix _ at _ animas _ dot _ net> wrote in message <A =
>
> href=3D"news:475734a8$1@linux">news:475734a8$1@linux</A>...</DIV>
> <DIV>
> <DIV style=3D"FONT-STYLE: italic"><FONT face=3DArial =
>size=3D2><STRONG>Mahatma=20
> Gandhi, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive
=
>set of=20
> calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather =
>frail and=20
> with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...<BR>A
=
>super=20
> callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <BR><BR>The dentist tells
=
>the=20
> patient that his upper plate needs to be made of chrome because of the
=
>
> patient's penchant for Hollandaise sauce (which has a lot of lemon =
>juice in=20
> it, and is corrosive to most dental appliances). Why chrome? =
><BR>There's no=20
> plate like chrome for the=20
>Hollandaise.</STRONG></FONT></DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY ></HTML>
>
>
Gantt Kushner
Gizmo Recording Company
Silver Spring, MD
www.gizmorecording.com
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| Re: Ow . . . I'm really sorry . . . [message #93388 is a reply to message #93363] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 20:37 |
Paul Braun
Messages: 391
Registered: September 2005
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Senior Member |
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On Thu, 6 Dec 2007 01:54:19 -0800, "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com>
wrote:
>And by the way, speaking of callouses on feet, it's been discovered that those painful plantar warts are not true warts at all but merely large, painful hardened pores. And oddly enough, it's been found that the best treatment is simply to gradually "sand" them down using dried corncobs, a technique known as hard pore cornography.
>
OK!!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!
You - Nursie -- go to your room!!!! Right now!!!
Your punishment will be having a pair of Koss Pro4AAA's duct-taped to
your head, while you get Britney Spears in one side, and endless
Nickelback in the other, with Yoko Ono's solo material at the same
time in both.
pab
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| Re: Ow . . . I'm really sorry . . . [message #93389 is a reply to message #93388] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 21:49 |
Neil
Messages: 1645
Registered: April 2006
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Senior Member |
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Paul Braun <cygnus_nospam@ctgonline.org> wrote:
>On Thu, 6 Dec 2007 01:54:19 -0800, "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com>
>wrote:
>
>>And by the way, speaking of callouses on feet, it's been discovered that
those painful
>plantar warts are not true warts at all but merely large, painful hardened
pores.
>And oddly enough, it's been found that the best treatment is simply to gradually
"sand"
>them down using dried corncobs, a technique known as hard pore cornography.
>>
>
>OK!!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!
>
>You - Nursie -- go to your room!!!! Right now!!!
>
>Your punishment will be having a pair of Koss Pro4AAA's duct-taped to
>your head, while you get Britney Spears in one side, and endless
>Nickelback in the other, with Yoko Ono's solo material at the same
>time in both.
Fuck... the Nickelback alone would kill me.
Neil
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| Re: Ow . . . I'm really sorry . . . [message #93398 is a reply to message #93389] |
Thu, 06 December 2007 22:34 |
Paul Braun
Messages: 391
Registered: September 2005
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Senior Member |
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On 7 Dec 2007 15:49:57 +1000, "Neil" <OI@OIU.com> wrote:
>
>Paul Braun <cygnus_nospam@ctgonline.org> wrote:
>>
>>Your punishment will be having a pair of Koss Pro4AAA's duct-taped to
>>your head, while you get Britney Spears in one side, and endless
>>Nickelback in the other, with Yoko Ono's solo material at the same
>>time in both.
>
>Fuck... the Nickelback alone would kill me.
>
>Neil
So I'm not the only one who thinks Chad Kroeger can't sing worth a
damn? That a range of one and a half notes in a voice that sounds
like it's processed through a metal wood chipper doesn't really
substitute for actual talent?
Have you heard the split-track that was floating around for a while?
The one with their first hit song in the left channel, their next hit
in the right channel, and you realize they're the SAME DAMN SONG,
right down to pacing, instrumental breaks, where they go acoustic,
where they turn up the distortion, everything?????
pab
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