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| John will like this... [message #75445] |
Sun, 05 November 2006 20:27  |
DC
Messages: 722
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
I
would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
trash
falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
was
a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning...... Today you voted."
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| Re: John will like this... [message #75447 is a reply to message #75445] |
Sun, 05 November 2006 21:50  |
DJ
Messages: 1124
Registered: July 2005
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Senior Member |
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good one Don.
"DC" <dc@spammersinsacremento.com> wrote in message news:454eabab$1@linux...
>
> While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
> by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
> at the entrance.
>
> "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
> there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
> see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
> "No problem, just let me in," says the man.
>
> "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
> have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
> where
> to spend eternity."
>
> "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
> senator.
>
> "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
>
> And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
> down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the
> middle
> of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
> front
> of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
>
> Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
> shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
> getting rich at the expense of the people.
>
> They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
> and champagne.
>
> Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
> a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
> that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
> Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
> rises...
>
> The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
> Peter is waiting for him.
> "Now it's time to visit heaven."
>
> So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
> moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
> good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
> Peter returns.
>
> "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
> choose your eternity."
>
> The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
> never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
> I
> would be better off in hell."
>
> So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
> to hell.
>
> Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
> barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
> dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
> trash
> falls from above.
>
> The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
> don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
> was
> a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
> champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
> full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
>
> The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
> campaigning...... Today you voted."
>
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| Re: John will like this... [message #75463 is a reply to message #75445] |
Mon, 06 November 2006 01:36 |
steve the artguy
Messages: 308
Registered: June 2005
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Senior Member |
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thanks, Don. It's almost too true to be funny.
-steve
"DC" <dc@spammersinsacremento.com> wrote:
>
>While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
>by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
>at the entrance.
>
>"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
>there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
>see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
>"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
>
>"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
>have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
>to spend eternity."
>
>"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
>senator.
>
>"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
>
>And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
>down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
>of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
>of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
>
>Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
>shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
>getting rich at the expense of the people.
>
>They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
>and champagne.
>
>Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
>a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
>that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
>Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
>rises...
>
>The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
>Peter is waiting for him.
>"Now it's time to visit heaven."
>
>So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
>moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
>good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
>Peter returns.
>
>"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
>choose your eternity."
>
>The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
>never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
>I
>would be better off in hell."
>
>So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
>to hell.
>
>Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
>barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
>dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
>trash
>falls from above.
>
>The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
>don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
>was
>a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
>champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
>full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
>
>The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
>campaigning...... Today you voted."
>
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| Re: John will like this... [message #75464 is a reply to message #75445] |
Mon, 06 November 2006 01:54 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
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i don't get it...;o)
On 6 Nov 2006 14:27:39 +1000, "DC" <dc@spammersinsacremento.com>
wrote:
>
>While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
>by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
>at the entrance.
>
>"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
>there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
>see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
>"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
>
>"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
>have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
>to spend eternity."
>
>"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
>senator.
>
>"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
>
>And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
>down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
>of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
>of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
>
>Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
>shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
>getting rich at the expense of the people.
>
>They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
>and champagne.
>
>Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
>a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
>that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
>Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
>rises...
>
>The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
>Peter is waiting for him.
>"Now it's time to visit heaven."
>
>So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
>moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
>good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
>Peter returns.
>
>"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
>choose your eternity."
>
>The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
>never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
>I
>would be better off in hell."
>
>So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
>to hell.
>
>Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
>barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
>dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
>trash
>falls from above.
>
>The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
>don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
>was
>a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
>champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
>full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
>
>The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
>campaigning...... Today you voted."
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| Re: John will like this... [message #75465 is a reply to message #75445] |
Mon, 06 November 2006 04:14 |
John [1]
Messages: 2229
Registered: September 2005
|
Senior Member |
|
|
hahaha, excellent ! Thanks
DC wrote:
> While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
> by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
> at the entrance.
>
> "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
> there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
> see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
> "No problem, just let me in," says the man.
>
> "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
> have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
> to spend eternity."
>
> "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
> senator.
>
> "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
>
> And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
> down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
> of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
> of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
>
> Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
> shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
> getting rich at the expense of the people.
>
> They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
> and champagne.
>
> Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
> a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
> that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
> Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
> rises...
>
> The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
> Peter is waiting for him.
> "Now it's time to visit heaven."
>
> So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
> moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
> good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
> Peter returns.
>
> "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
> choose your eternity."
>
> The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
> never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
> I
> would be better off in hell."
>
> So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
> to hell.
>
> Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
> barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
> dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
> trash
> falls from above.
>
> The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
> don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
> was
> a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
> champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
> full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
>
> The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
> campaigning...... Today you voted."
>
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|
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| Re: John will like this... [message #75471 is a reply to message #75445] |
Mon, 06 November 2006 09:13 |
Neil
Messages: 1645
Registered: April 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
:D EVERYONE (not just John) should like that one!
Neil
"DC" <dc@spammersinsacremento.com> wrote:
>
>While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit
>by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter
>at the entrance.
>
>"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
>there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
>see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
>
>"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
>
>"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
>have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
>to spend eternity."
>
>"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
>senator.
>
>"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
>
>And with that, St. Peter escorts him to th e elevator and he goes
>down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
>of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
>of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
>
>Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
>shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
>getting rich at the expense of the people.
>
>They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
>and champagne.
>
>Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
>a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
>that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
>Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
>rises...
>
>The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
>Peter is waiting for him.
>"Now it's time to visit heaven."
>
>So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
>moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
>good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
>Peter returns.
>
>"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
>choose your eternity."
>
>The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
>never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think
>I
>would be better off in hell."
>
>So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
>to hell.
>
>Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
>barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
>dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more
>trash
>falls from above.
>
>The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
>don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
>was
>a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
>champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
>full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
>
>The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
>campaigning...... Today you voted."
>
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