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the cost of dining out... [message #103301] Thu, 30 April 2009 01:32 Go to next message
rick is currently offline  rick   UNITED STATES
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
Senior Member
when price matters...


Cannibal

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over

the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $250.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why

such a price difference for the Politician?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."
Re: the cost of dining out... [message #103302 is a reply to message #103301] Thu, 30 April 2009 01:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kerryg is currently offline  kerryg   CANADA
Messages: 1529
Registered: February 2009
Senior Member
Administrator
A bass player is browsing Craigslist when he sees an ad that catches his eye - "Free Day Cruise Saturday for bassists that bring their double bass".

Saturday comes and he drags his double bass down to the pier and boards the waiting cruise ship. He's looking out at the scenery as they meander up river when - wham! He's coshed over the back of the head.

He wakes up bound hand and foot and duct taped to his double bass. Two burly deckhands lift him and his double bass and heave them over the side.

As he's drifting down the river, he sees another bassist bound to his bass floating nearby. He calls out "Is there a buffet?". The other bassist replies "There wasn't last year".



"... being bitter is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other guy to die..." - anon

[Updated on: Thu, 30 April 2009 01:54]

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Re: the cost of dining out... [message #103310 is a reply to message #103301] Tue, 05 May 2009 03:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Micha is currently offline  Micha   GERMANY
Messages: 72
Registered: January 2009
Member
yeah! more bassplayerjokes! Razz
Re: the cost of dining out... [message #103312 is a reply to message #103310] Tue, 05 May 2009 08:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kerryg is currently offline  kerryg   CANADA
Messages: 1529
Registered: February 2009
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OK, this is an old one (but hey - at least it's not "drums stop, very bad!" Very Happy)

A man's teenaged son expresses interest in bass guitar lessons, so his father hunts around and finds him a local pro as a teacher. Lessons are arranged, and the evening comes for the first lesson. The boy arrives home afterwards, and his father asks him what they studied. The boy says "Tonight we learned about the E string".

Next week, it's time for the second lesson. Once again the father asks the same question; the boy's response is "well, tonight we learned about the A string".

The third lesson comes, and the father is concerned when the boy doesn't come home afterwards. Dad waits up anxiously, and around three o'clock in the morning the boy swaggers in, reeking of bourbon, cigarettes and cheap perfume.

The father says "Where the hell were you?". The boy replies "dude, chill out - I had a gig".

- Kerry (bassist)



"... being bitter is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other guy to die..." - anon

[Updated on: Tue, 05 May 2009 08:50]

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Re: the cost of dining out... [message #103423 is a reply to message #103312] Mon, 18 May 2009 14:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kerryg is currently offline  kerryg   CANADA
Messages: 1529
Registered: February 2009
Senior Member
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Two tigers are out in the jungle eating a clown; one tiger wrinkles his nose and says to the other - "does this taste funny to you?"

"... being bitter is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other guy to die..." - anon

[Updated on: Mon, 18 May 2009 14:41]

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Re: the cost of dining out... [message #103441 is a reply to message #103423] Sat, 23 May 2009 17:20 Go to previous message
rick is currently offline  rick   UNITED STATES
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
Senior Member
it started as a trickle and turned into a....trickle...yup...i still got it. Laughing
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