Home » The PARIS Forums » PARIS: Main » Hell
| Hell [message #82117] |
Sun, 25 March 2007 11:38  |
![Deej [4] is currently offline](/theme/PARIS_Forum_Template/images/offline.png "Deej [4] is currently offline")
Deej [4]
Messages: 1292
Registered: January 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Answer:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82121 is a reply to message #82117] |
Sun, 25 March 2007 14:28  |
xpam_mark
Messages: 126
Registered: March 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Deej,
Speakin' a hell, as I opened your post, my unread post count went from 666
to 665. I feel much better now.
WMW
"DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com> wrote in message news:4606c1a8@linux...
>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>
> Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
> Answer:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
> how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
> that exist in the world today.
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
> religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
> project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
> are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
> Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
> the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
> added.
>
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
> all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>
> So which is it?
>
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
> into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
> must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
> frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
> over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
> divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
> God."
>
>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82122 is a reply to message #82117] |
Sun, 25 March 2007 16:19 |
excelav
Messages: 2130
Registered: July 2005
Location: Metro Detroit
|
Senior Member |
|
|
So, what the hell is this post about?
"DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com> wrote:
>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>
>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>Answer:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to
>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in
>the world today.
>
>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law
>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
>breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>So which is it?
>
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into
>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must
be
>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82125 is a reply to message #82122] |
Sun, 25 March 2007 16:41 |
Nil
Messages: 245
Registered: March 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Hell if I know.
"James McCloskey" <excelsm@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>So, what the hell is this post about?
>
>"DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com> wrote:
>>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>>
>>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>>
>>Answer:
>>
>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
>
>>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>
>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>to
>>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>
>>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
>in
>>the world today.
>>
>>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can
>
>>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>
>>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>Law
>>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>
>>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>
>>
>>This gives two possibilities:
>>
>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>
>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>Hell
>>breaks loose.
>>
>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>>
>>So which is it?
>>
>>
>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>
>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>into
>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must
>be
>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>
>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it
>
>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>
>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>
>>
>>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82131 is a reply to message #82125] |
Mon, 26 March 2007 02:02 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
the hell you say.
On 26 Mar 2007 09:41:37 +1000, "Neil" <IUOIU@OIU.com> wrote:
>
>Hell if I know.
>
>"James McCloskey" <excelsm@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>So, what the hell is this post about?
>>
>>"DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com> wrote:
>>>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>>>
>>>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>>>
>>>Answer:
>>>
>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>need
>>
>>>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>>
>>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>>to
>>>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>>
>>>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
>>in
>>>the world today.
>>>
>>>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>can
>>
>>>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>>
>>>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>
>>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>Law
>>>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>>
>>>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>>
>>>
>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>
>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>>
>>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>>Hell
>>>breaks loose.
>>>
>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>
>>>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>>
>>>
>>>So which is it?
>>>
>>>
>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>
>>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>into
>>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must
>>be
>>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>
>>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
>it
>>
>>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>>
>>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82132 is a reply to message #82117] |
Mon, 26 March 2007 02:05 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
this should also be factored into the equation..
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name
of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and
of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no
longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names
of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff
drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT &
DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them.
On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:38:47 -0600, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
wrote:
>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>
>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>Answer:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
>the world today.
>
>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
>breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>So which is it?
>
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82133 is a reply to message #82132] |
Mon, 26 March 2007 02:26 |
xpam_mark
Messages: 126
Registered: March 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Gheeeez Rick, this the finniest thing I've read in months!!! THANK YOU
WMW
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:e53f03tse3gs82pivov00lg89lfg4dg9li@4ax.com...
> this should also be factored into the equation..
>
> In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
> name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name
> of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
> Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
>
> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
> consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
> that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
> considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and
> of course, Ibepokin.
>
> Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
> liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
> suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
> literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no
> longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names
> of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff
> drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT &
> DO.
>
> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
> implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
> that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
> boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
> with them.
>
> On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:38:47 -0600, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
> wrote:
>
>>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>>
>>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>>
>>Answer:
>>
>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>need
>>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>>to
>>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
>>in
>>the world today.
>>
>>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>Law
>>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>
>>
>>This gives two possibilities:
>>
>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>enter
>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>>Hell
>>breaks loose.
>>
>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>>
>>So which is it?
>>
>>
>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>into
>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>>divine
>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>
>>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82208 is a reply to message #82133] |
Tue, 27 March 2007 21:16 |
Miguel Vigil [1]
Messages: 258
Registered: July 2005
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Throbizin
That should do it....
El Miguel
"W. Mark Wilson" <xpam_mark@avidrecording> wrote in message
news:460791cb$1@linux...
> Gheeeez Rick, this the finniest thing I've read in months!!! THANK YOU
>
> WMW
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:e53f03tse3gs82pivov00lg89lfg4dg9li@4ax.com...
>> this should also be factored into the equation..
>>
>> In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
>> name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name
>> of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
>> Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
>>
>> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
>> consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
>> that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
>> considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and
>> of course, Ibepokin.
>>
>> Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
>> liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
>> suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
>> literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no
>> longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names
>> of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff
>> drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT &
>> DO.
>>
>> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
>> implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
>> that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
>> boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
>> with them.
>>
>> On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:38:47 -0600, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>>>
>>>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>>>
>>>Answer:
>>>
>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>need
>>>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>>>which
>>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>>>to
>>>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>>>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
>>>in
>>>the world today.
>>>
>>>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>>>can
>>>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
>>>they
>>>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>>Law
>>>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>>>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
>>>added.
>>>
>>>
>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>
>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>enter
>>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>>>Hell
>>>breaks loose.
>>>
>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>>
>>>
>>>So which is it?
>>>
>>>
>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>>into
>>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must
>>>be
>>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>>>divine
>>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Hell [message #82216 is a reply to message #82208] |
Wed, 28 March 2007 02:50 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
wonder if they come with the "petermeter" or if that's extra.
On Tue, 27 Mar 2007 22:16:42 -0600, "Miguel Vigil" <nospam@nospam.com>
wrote:
>Throbizin
>
>
>
>
>That should do it....
>
>El Miguel
>
>
>
>
>"W. Mark Wilson" <xpam_mark@avidrecording> wrote in message
>news:460791cb$1@linux...
>> Gheeeez Rick, this the finniest thing I've read in months!!! THANK YOU
>>
>> WMW
>>
>> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:e53f03tse3gs82pivov00lg89lfg4dg9li@4ax.com...
>>> this should also be factored into the equation..
>>>
>>> In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
>>> name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name
>>> of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
>>> Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
>>>
>>> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
>>> consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
>>> that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
>>> considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and
>>> of course, Ibepokin.
>>>
>>> Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
>>> liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
>>> suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
>>> literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no
>>> longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names
>>> of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff
>>> drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT &
>>> DO.
>>>
>>> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
>>> implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
>>> that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
>>> boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
>>> with them.
>>>
>>> On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:38:47 -0600, "DJ" <www.aarrrrggghhh!!!.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>>A student's perspective on a Chemistry examination:
>>>>
>>>>Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>>>>
>>>>Answer:
>>>>
>>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>>need
>>>>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>>>>which
>>>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>>>>to
>>>>Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
>>>>souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
>>>>in
>>>>the world today.
>>>>
>>>>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>>>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>>>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>>>>can
>>>>project that most all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
>>>>they
>>>>are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>>>Law
>>>>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>>>>same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
>>>>added.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>>
>>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>>enter
>>>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>>>>Hell
>>>>breaks loose.
>>>>
>>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>>>Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>So which is it?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>>>into
>>>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must
>>>>be
>>>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>>>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>>>extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>>>>divine
>>>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
Current Time: Sun Dec 15 17:47:02 PST 2024
Total time taken to generate the page: 0.02631 seconds
|
The PARIS Forums
Search
Help
Members
Register
Login
Home
