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| Re: OT Elephants [message #71273 is a reply to message #71245] |
Tue, 15 August 2006 12:54   |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
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Senior Member |
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Hahaha! That's funny. Reminds me of another joke:
Jack went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem, in
that, he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the
doctor told Jack that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged
from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.
However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might be applicable, if
he were willing to take the risk.
The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's
trunk in Jack's penis. Jack thought about it for a while. The thought of
going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much
for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or
adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go for it.
A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use
his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening
with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his
legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release
the
pressure, Jack unzipped his fly andimmediately his penis sprung from his
pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his
pants.
His girl friend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
face said: "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?"
Jack, with his eyes watering, replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure
that I can fit another roll up my ass."
:)
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:f093e2hhl6uklcm5lqiuvgrv7b8l0pd3ca@4ax.com...
> An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a
> naked man
> standing in a clearing.
>
> The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
>
> "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"
>
>
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| Re: OT Elephants [message #71276 is a reply to message #71273] |
Tue, 15 August 2006 13:05 |
brandon[2]
Messages: 380
Registered: June 2006
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Senior Member |
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I heard that one a long time ago except the roll was a baked patato.
It was an old Buddy Hacket joke.
My girlfriend thinks it's the funniest thing she ever heard.
She always has me tell it at gatherings.
It always gets a good laugh.
--
Brandon
"Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message news:44e22506$2@linux...
> Hahaha! That's funny. Reminds me of another joke:
>
> Jack went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem, in
> that, he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the
> doctor told Jack that the muscles around the base of his penis were
damaged
> from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.
> However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might be applicable, if
> he were willing to take the risk.
>
> The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's
> trunk in Jack's penis. Jack thought about it for a while. The thought of
> going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much
> for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or
> adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go for it.
>
> A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use
> his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening
> with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
> city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his
> legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release
> the
> pressure, Jack unzipped his fly andimmediately his penis sprung from his
> pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his
> pants.
>
> His girl friend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
> face said: "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?"
>
> Jack, with his eyes watering, replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure
> that I can fit another roll up my ass."
>
> :)
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:f093e2hhl6uklcm5lqiuvgrv7b8l0pd3ca@4ax.com...
> > An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a
> > naked man
> > standing in a clearing.
> >
> > The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
> >
> > "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"
> >
> >
>
>
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| Re: OT Elephants [message #71278 is a reply to message #71276] |
Tue, 15 August 2006 14:11 |
Sarah
Messages: 608
Registered: February 2007
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Senior Member |
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Ha! Potato is funnier. Thanks. :)
S
"Brandon" <a@a.com> wrote in message news:44e227bb$1@linux...
>I heard that one a long time ago except the roll was a baked patato.
> It was an old Buddy Hacket joke.
> My girlfriend thinks it's the funniest thing she ever heard.
> She always has me tell it at gatherings.
> It always gets a good laugh.
>
>
> --
> Brandon
>
> "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message
> news:44e22506$2@linux...
>> Hahaha! That's funny. Reminds me of another joke:
>>
>> Jack went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem, in
>> that, he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the
>> doctor told Jack that the muscles around the base of his penis were
> damaged
>> from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.
>> However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might be applicable,
>> if
>> he were willing to take the risk.
>>
>> The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's
>> trunk in Jack's penis. Jack thought about it for a while. The thought
>> of
>> going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much
>> for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty
>> or
>> adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go for it.
>>
>> A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use
>> his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening
>> with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
>> city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his
>> legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release
>> the
>> pressure, Jack unzipped his fly andimmediately his penis sprung from his
>> pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to
>> his
>> pants.
>>
>> His girl friend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
>> face said: "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?"
>>
>> Jack, with his eyes watering, replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure
>> that I can fit another roll up my ass."
>>
>> :)
>>
>> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:f093e2hhl6uklcm5lqiuvgrv7b8l0pd3ca@4ax.com...
>> > An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a
>> > naked man
>> > standing in a clearing.
>> >
>> > The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
>> >
>> > "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"
>> >
>> >
>>
>>
>
>
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| Re: OT Elephants [message #71302 is a reply to message #71278] |
Wed, 16 August 2006 02:23 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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there's always room for jello...
On Tue, 15 Aug 2006 14:11:36 -0700, "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com>
wrote:
>Ha! Potato is funnier. Thanks. :)
>
>S
>
>
>"Brandon" <a@a.com> wrote in message news:44e227bb$1@linux...
>>I heard that one a long time ago except the roll was a baked patato.
>> It was an old Buddy Hacket joke.
>> My girlfriend thinks it's the funniest thing she ever heard.
>> She always has me tell it at gatherings.
>> It always gets a good laugh.
>>
>>
>> --
>> Brandon
>>
>> "Sarah" <sarahjane@sarahtonin.com> wrote in message
>> news:44e22506$2@linux...
>>> Hahaha! That's funny. Reminds me of another joke:
>>>
>>> Jack went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem, in
>>> that, he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the
>>> doctor told Jack that the muscles around the base of his penis were
>> damaged
>>> from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.
>>> However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might be applicable,
>>> if
>>> he were willing to take the risk.
>>>
>>> The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's
>>> trunk in Jack's penis. Jack thought about it for a while. The thought
>>> of
>>> going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much
>>> for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty
>>> or
>>> adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go for it.
>>>
>>> A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use
>>> his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening
>>> with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
>>> city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his
>>> legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release
>>> the
>>> pressure, Jack unzipped his fly andimmediately his penis sprung from his
>>> pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to
>>> his
>>> pants.
>>>
>>> His girl friend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
>>> face said: "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?"
>>>
>>> Jack, with his eyes watering, replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure
>>> that I can fit another roll up my ass."
>>>
>>> :)
>>>
>>> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>> news:f093e2hhl6uklcm5lqiuvgrv7b8l0pd3ca@4ax.com...
>>> > An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a
>>> > naked man
>>> > standing in a clearing.
>>> >
>>> > The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
>>> >
>>> > "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"
>>> >
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
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| Re: OT Elephants [message #71327 is a reply to message #71273] |
Wed, 16 August 2006 15:52 |
Bill L
Messages: 766
Registered: August 2006
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Senior Member |
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Sarah wrote:
> Hahaha! That's funny. Reminds me of another joke:
>
> Jack went to a urologist and told him that he was having a problem, in
> that, he was unable to get his penis erect. After a complete exam the
> doctor told Jack that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged
> from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.
> However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might be applicable, if
> he were willing to take the risk.
>
> The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an elephant's
> trunk in Jack's penis. Jack thought about it for a while. The thought of
> going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much
> for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or
> adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go for it.
>
> A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use
> his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic evening
> with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
> city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his
> legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release
> the
> pressure, Jack unzipped his fly andimmediately his penis sprung from his
> pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his
> pants.
>
> His girl friend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
> face said: "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?"
>
> Jack, with his eyes watering, replied: "I think I can, but I'm not sure
> that I can fit another roll up my ass."
>
> :)
>
> "rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:f093e2hhl6uklcm5lqiuvgrv7b8l0pd3ca@4ax.com...
>> An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a
>> naked man
>> standing in a clearing.
>>
>> The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
>>
>> "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"
>>
>>
>
>
Very good!
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| Re: OT An amazing Elephant story [message #71342 is a reply to message #71245] |
Wed, 16 August 2006 22:35 |
Chris Latham
Messages: 109
Registered: June 2005
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Senior Member |
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Elephant's Memory - Touching Story.
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young
bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed
distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and
found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as
gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting
knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look
on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe
stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged
son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the
creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu
were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted
its front foot off the ground then put it down. The elephant did
that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the
man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help
wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage,
climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked
right
up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around
one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along
the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
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| Re: OT An amazing Elephant story [message #71349 is a reply to message #71342] |
Thu, 17 August 2006 03:22 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
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Senior Member |
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maybe he was just trying to shake the potato out...
On Wed, 16 Aug 2006 23:35:56 -0600, "Chris Latham"
<latham_c@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>Elephant's Memory - Touching Story.
>
> In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
>from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young
>bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed
>distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
>
>He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and
> found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as
>gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting
>knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
>
>The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look
>on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe
>stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
>Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
> Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
>
>Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged
>son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the
>creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu
>were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted
>its front foot off the ground then put it down. The elephant did
>that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the
>man.
>
>Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help
>wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage,
>climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked
>right
>up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
>
> Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around
>one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along
>the railing, killing him.
>
>Probably wasn't the same elephant.
>
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