Home » The PARIS Forums » PARIS: Main » Had to share this - funny stuff
| Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 10:10  |
DC
Messages: 722
Registered: July 2005
|
Senior Member |
|
|
A friend sent me this... heh heh
Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual
class assignment:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
to
re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
coherent.
There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over
when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
was out of the question.
(second p aragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING TEA???
Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
As*h@le.
(Gary)
B*tch!
(Rebecca)
F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
(Gary)
In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one
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| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84177 is a reply to message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 11:45  |
Robert Arsenault
Messages: 49
Registered: September 2006
|
Member |
|
|
Man this is hilarious.......thanks for the chuckle.
"DC" <dc@spammersinhell.org> wrote in message news:4640af0e$1@linux...
>
> A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
> actual
> class assignment:
>
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
> homework
> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
> to
> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> coherent.
>
> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is
> over
> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
> THE STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
> was out of the question.
>
>
> (second p aragraph by Gary)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit
> established.
>
> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
> seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> wistfully.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
> empires
>
> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING
> TEA???
> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> As*h@le.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> B*tch!
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
> (TEACHER)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
>
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| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84178 is a reply to message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 11:40 |
Deej [4]
Messages: 1292
Registered: January 2007
|
Senior Member |
|
|
I had to pass this one along. If there was just some way to integrate a
ponzi scam into it we might get rich.
;o)
"DC" <dc@spammersinhell.org> wrote in message news:4640af0e$1@linux...
>
> A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
> actual
> class assignment:
>
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
> homework
> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
> to
> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> coherent.
>
> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is
> over
> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
> THE STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
> was out of the question.
>
>
> (second p aragraph by Gary)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit
> established.
>
> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
> seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> wistfully.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
> empires
>
> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING
> TEA???
> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> As*h@le.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> B*tch!
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
> (TEACHER)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
>
|
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| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84179 is a reply to message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 12:26 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
i'm guessing they dated for an evening...or part of one anyway.
On 9 May 2007 03:10:38 +1000, "DC" <dc@spammersinhell.org> wrote:
>
>A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
>Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
>offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual
>class assignment:
>
>The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
>new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
>pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
>tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
>You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
>The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
>to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
>person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
>to
>re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
>coherent.
>
>There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
>anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over
>when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
>turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
>THE STORY:
>
>(first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
>now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
>he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
>mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
>about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
>was out of the question.
>
>
>(second p aragraph by Gary)
>
>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
>now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
>the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
>had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
>17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit established.
>
>No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
>particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
>ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
>seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
>Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
>The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
>window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
>and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
>from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
>"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
>wistfully.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
>Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
>the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
>who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
>congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
>
>who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
>the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
>carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
>to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
>fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
>vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
>whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
>shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING TEA???
>Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
>too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>As*h@le.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>B*tch!
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
>(TEACHER)
>
>A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
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| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84184 is a reply to message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 14:52 |
Mark McDermott
Messages: 204
Registered: February 2006
Location: Portland, OR
|
Senior Member |
|
|
I'm sure they're "happily" married by now!
;-)
"DC" <dc@spammersinhell.org> wrote:
>
>A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
>Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
>offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual
>class assignment:
>
>The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
>new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
>pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
>tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
>You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
>The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
>to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
>person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
>to
>re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
>coherent.
>
>There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
>anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over
>when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
>turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
>THE STORY:
>
>(first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
>now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
>he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
>mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
>about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
>was out of the question.
>
>
>(second p aragraph by Gary)
>
>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
>now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
>the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
>had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
>17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit established.
>
>No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
>particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
>ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
>seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
>Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
>The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
>window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
>and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
>from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
>"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
>wistfully.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
>Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
>the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
>who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
>congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
>
>who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
>the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
>carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
>to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
>fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
>vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
>whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
>shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING
TEA???
>Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
>too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>As*h@le.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>B*tch!
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
>(TEACHER)
>
>A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
>
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| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84195 is a reply to message #84173] |
Tue, 08 May 2007 21:30 |
Rich Lamanna
Messages: 316
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Holy S*^t, very enjoyable reading. I'd give it an A+ too.
Rich
"DC" <dc@spammersinhell.org> wrote in message news:4640af0e$1@linux...
>
> A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
actual
> class assignment:
>
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework
> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
> to
> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> coherent.
>
> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is
over
> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
> THE STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
> was out of the question.
>
>
> (second p aragraph by Gary)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit
established.
>
> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
> seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> wistfully.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires
>
> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING
TEA???
> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> As*h@le.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> B*tch!
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
> (TEACHER)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84279 is a reply to message #84173] |
Thu, 10 May 2007 19:30 |
Bill L
Messages: 766
Registered: August 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
Those two would make a great couple.
Bill
DC wrote:
> A friend sent me this... heh heh
>
> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual
> class assignment:
>
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
> to
> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> coherent.
>
> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over
> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>
> THE STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
> was out of the question.
>
>
> (second p aragraph by Gary)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit established.
>
> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>
> seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> wistfully.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
>
> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>
> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING TEA???
> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> As*h@le.
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> B*tch!
>
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
> (Gary)
>
> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
> (TEACHER)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one
>
>
>
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84298 is a reply to message #84279] |
Fri, 11 May 2007 01:53 |
rick
Messages: 1976
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
and they did for 15 minutes.
On Thu, 10 May 2007 22:30:47 -0400, Bill L <bill@billlorentzen.com>
wrote:
>Those two would make a great couple.
>
>Bill
>
>DC wrote:
>> A friend sent me this... heh heh
>>
>> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
>> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual
>> class assignment:
>>
>> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
>> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
>> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
>> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
>> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
>> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
>> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first
>> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember
>> to
>> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
>> coherent.
>>
>> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
>> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over
>> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually
>> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
>>
>>
>>
>> THE STORY:
>>
>> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>>
>> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
>> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
>> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
>> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
>> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
>> was out of the question.
>>
>>
>> (second p aragraph by Gary)
>>
>> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
>> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
>> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
>> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
>> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit established.
>>
>> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
>> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
>> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
>>
>> seat and across the cockpit.
>>
>>
>> (Rebecca)
>>
>> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
>> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
>> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
>> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
>> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
>> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>>
>> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
>> wistfully.
>>
>>
>> (Gary)
>>
>> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
>> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
>> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
>> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
>> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
>>
>> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
>> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>>
>> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
>> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
>> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
>> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>>
>>
>>
>> (Rebecca)
>>
>> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>>
>>
>> (Gary)
>>
>> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
>> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
>> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING TEA???
>> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
>> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>>
>>
>> (Rebecca)
>>
>> As*h@le.
>>
>>
>> (Gary)
>>
>> B*tch!
>>
>>
>> (Rebecca)
>>
>> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>>
>>
>> (Gary)
>>
>> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>>
>>
>> (TEACHER)
>>
>> A+ - I really liked this one
>>
>>
>>
|
|
|
|
| Re: Had to share this - funny stuff [message #84307 is a reply to message #84298] |
Fri, 11 May 2007 09:18 |
Rich Lamanna
Messages: 316
Registered: February 2006
|
Senior Member |
|
|
I think there's some sexual tension here.
Rich
"rick" <parnell68@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1nb843hsscuq8tt3rikhd7ren7cdrj4lnm@4ax.com...
> and they did for 15 minutes.
>
>
>
> On Thu, 10 May 2007 22:30:47 -0400, Bill L <bill@billlorentzen.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Those two would make a great couple.
> >
> >Bill
> >
> >DC wrote:
> >> A friend sent me this... heh heh
> >>
> >> Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
> >> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
actual
> >> class assignment:
> >>
> >> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> >> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
will
> >> pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework
> >> tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
> >> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to
me.
> >> The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph
> >> to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The
first
> >> person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember
> >> to
> >> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> >> coherent.
> >>
> >> There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> >> anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is
over
> >> when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was
actually
> >> turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> THE STORY:
> >>
> >> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> >>
> >> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> >> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> >> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that
> >> he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> >> mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> >> about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
> >> was out of the question.
> >>
> >>
> >> (second p aragraph by Gary)
> >>
> >> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> >> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than
> >> the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
> >> had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation
> >> 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator." Polar orbit
established.
> >>
> >> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
> >> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
> >> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of
his
> >>
> >> seat and across the cockpit.
> >>
> >>
> >> (Rebecca)
> >>
> >> He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> >> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> >> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> >> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> >> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> >> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> >> The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> >> window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> >> and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
> >> from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her.
> >>
> >> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> >> wistfully.
> >>
> >>
> >> (Gary)
> >>
> >> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> >> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> >> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
> >> who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarm ament Treaty through the
> >> congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires
> >>
> >> who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
> >> the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth,
> >>
> >> carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
> >> to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> >> fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> >> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
> >> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
> >> vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> (Rebecca)
> >>
> >> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> >> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
> >>
> >>
> >> (Gary)
> >>
> >> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> >> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> >> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING
TEA???
> >> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> >> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
> >>
> >>
> >> (Rebecca)
> >>
> >> As*h@le.
> >>
> >>
> >> (Gary)
> >>
> >> B*tch!
> >>
> >>
> >> (Rebecca)
> >>
> >> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
> >>
> >>
> >> (Gary)
> >>
> >> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
> >>
> >>
> >> (TEACHER)
> >>
> >> A+ - I really liked this one
> >>
> >>
> >>
>
|
|
|
|
|
|
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